Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
