..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
