I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
