I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
