I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Green mimosas i think yes
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
