Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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