I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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