I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Everyone says I win the strip club
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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