ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
