Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
