if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Alive.
So much puke
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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