i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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