Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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