Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
