you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
