i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
