bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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