So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
