I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
