My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
