whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
