i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize