So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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