Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
