I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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