I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
BRING THE BAGELS
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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