Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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