NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
