Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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