we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have post one night stand depression
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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