she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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