A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
