Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
