so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
