I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
