There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just want to make out with him forever
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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