Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
