my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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