Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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