I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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