I got chris browned last night
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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