Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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