i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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