who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
