Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
