The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just tell him i said nine months
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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