I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
