We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
