hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
