I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
