i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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