And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
