Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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