And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
