You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize