just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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