nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
