Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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