i need an iv and a liver transplant
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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