I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The Olympian is in my bed
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
