i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize