Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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