I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
