if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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