She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
