K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
