WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
